I haven’t written in a long while. It’s been difficult with all the chaos to think clearly. Today I started by just cleaning. I swept the floors. I took out the trash. I mopped the floors. All the while, in silence with my thoughts dampened, just breathing and trying not to think. This thing next, now the next thing. Three, then four hours went by. And finally some calmness. I know of too many people being affected by this pandemic. It is nearly impossible not to be overwhelmed with worry. For them and their families. For myself. One only needs to turn on social media or the news to have an ongoing crashing onslaught of terror, anger and sadness. With that, comes further panic and then an inability to find compassion and clarity. That is not who I am or who I wish to become. So, I have had to stop and step back a bit. I have to force myself to look away, to find some good things to focus on. After all the cleaning, I showered. I took my time. We have more time now, that is if you are staying inside and self isolating. I didn’t have to rush anywhere. I could use all the self indulgent soap, lotion, perfume etc I felt like. I took the time to fix my hair for myself. To put on some beautiful dangling earrings I had bought on my last European trip. I put on a silk shirt and some comfortable jeans, a definite step up from the usual yoga pants and t shirt. I pulled out some old vinyl records- ones I have been lugging about for years without playing- and listened as I repotted the neglected orchid I keep in my hallway. I spent time looking over some online classes and even signing up for one. I spent another hour just listening to some stand up comedy. I let the panic drain away. I think it’s something we all need to do. I am grateful to have a responsive media however, the minute by minute coverage has become nearly harmful and at times hysterical.
I’d love to know what things you are doing for self care. How you are managing the need to stay inform vs. being informed at every minute. Are you able to find points of connection despite the need to stay inside and let this pandemic run itself out? Are you able to just stay calm?